This year has been one of the most difficult, but growth-filled of my life. For reference, this is supposed to be my “golden year”, filled with glory and triumph. Eighteen on the eighteenth. For others who haven’t had their golden year yet, you might want to trash the whole idea. Just a thought. I’m not bitter or anything like that, where’d you get that notion? Maybe it’s my fault for having my golden year also happen to be the age where poor children everywhere become a victim of adulthood. Now that I’m legal I would like to start a petition to make the age of adulthood 21, sign below. If I can’t be trusted to hold my liquor responsibly, how in the hell am I supposed to pay my taxes, or *gasp* dare I say, support myself??? Horrific. Anyways, just a thought. Since I’m so surprised that I made it this far, I thought about some possible reasons for why. Below are the reasons why I haven’t thrown myself away in the trash, were talking landfill here folks, like I want to end up as a plastic bottle in the next life.
This video is literally what keeps me going, I have to watch it at least once a day. It’s basically a prescription drug at this point. Please watch, you will NOT be disappointed:
Coffee: Through serious thought and about a month of straight meditation without food or drink (not by choice), I have become enlightened. When I came out of my state of comatose, I realized I had only learned one thing: The meaning of life is coffee. Basically, if you don’t drink coffee, It’s not looking too good for you. Getting away from campus and going to one of my favorite coffee shops, French Press or Caje is the single most reason I haven’t dropped out of school and joined a gang. A simple sip of an iced vanilla latte changes my aura from a foul black to a brilliant, purified white. Though it regularly gives me total anxiety, the repercussions are worth it.
Amazon: If I didn’t allow myself to buy one thing a month from Amazon, I’m over 100% positive that I would have been admitted to a high-security psych ward long ago. I’m obsessed with skincare, so usually, I spend my days browsing through a never-ending array of French skincare I otherwise wouldn’t have had access to. I try not to think of the price markups though, would definitely send me spiraling. Might I suggest Bioderma Micellar Water or Embryolisse Concentrated Cream. I have seriously never worked with a makeup artist on set that didn’t have these in their kit, they’re totally amazing. 12/10 rating from yours, truly. Even if you have the most sensitive baby skin that’s allergic to the thought of change, these will still work for you.
Meditation: I’ve touched base on this before, but this helps clear my mind and get me out of a negative mood every single time. Hasn’t failed once. I’m not going to pretend like I meditate every single day, because as much as I wish I did, I don’t. I try really hard to but to be honest, sometimes it still feels like a chore even though it completely changes my day for the better. I’ve been LOVING Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s 21-day Abundance Meditation Challenge. I really admire both of them, and I find Deepak’s voice to be incredibly soothing. It’s also helped to keep me accountable because I feel obligated to finish the challenge all the way through without stopping and picking up again the next day. I think this may be because I’m SO competitive and I can’t help but think that when I finish the 21st day I’ll open my eyes and be sitting in my mansion. Wishful thinking you say? That’s right! Just what I’m supposed to be doing, try again next time sweetie!
Yoga: This one has a backstory so take the tissues out, it’s a real tear-jerker. In one of my previous posts, I mentioned yoga, and that I was going to CorePower. While I’m still a huge fan, your girl DOES NOT have the coins for that!!! After my first month that was already super expensive even with my student discount, I couldn’t justify spending my nonexistent coinz on another month. It was going to be around $180 bucks and I was like,”Oh sweetie, what a hilarious joke!” when I was told the price. Though it was a tragic realization, my rational side (that doesn’t come out often) eventually won me over resulting in CorePower and I’s breakup. Sadly, I couldn’t say “It’s me, not you” because it was you, CorePower. It really was. Things just weren’t working anymore, and I’m sorry, I had to do what’s best for me. Also, in the time that I was practicing yoga, I think I totally injured my back and pulled a muscle. It could be sleeping on the rock that is my dorm bed for a year, but I guess we’ll never know. Anyways, now that we’ve bonded over my breakup, I’ll tell you what I’m doing now. 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene on youtube! Girl, you ain’t even gotta leave your own house anymore! Wow, I love technology. Adriene is incredible and It’s been so nice to pull up one of her videos at the end of the day and go through the motions. Even better, no one is pressuring you to go farther than you want! Just listen to your body. But warning, when I listen to my body it says things like, “You don’t exercise enough! Damn bitch, why don’t you ever feed me some fruit? Would it kill you to buy some vegetables?” The feedback is brutal, currently looking for a therapist to compensate for the emotional damage I’ve endured after that one.
Journal Writing: When you’re as desperate as I am, you bet your bottom dollar I’m going to try anything I can to manifest abundance into my life. Three words: The Law of Attraction, boys. I genuinely hate writing in a diary, so this is not that for me. A book of things I wouldn’t even tell my friends (which honestly nothing ever happens that’s worth hiding lmao), sounds like trouble to me. My diary would be too boring anyways. “Dear diary, today I went to class and nothing happened. After that, I came home and ate a waffle for the millionth time, was out of jam so the only thing I had to put on it was my own tears. Salty. I should really clean up, also I’m out of paper towels. Going to sleep early tonight, too bored to keep my eyes open. Talk tomorrow, xoxo!” What I actually do is write down all the things I want, but write about them like they already happened. For example, “I’m so happy I always have more money coming in than going out”, or “I had the most incredible time on set with..”, *insert dream photographer here.* At first, I feel really dumb, but by the end of it I can’t help but be excited about the possibility of a realty like that. The only downside is if anyone reads it and doesn’t know what I’m doing, they’ll have reason to believe I’m either schizophrenic or a pathological liar.
I hope everyone reading either finds or has already found things that make them happy and help them get through their week. The best is yet to come.
Keep it real,